If you haven't read Kacie's recent post about finding the perfect wedding dress, take a look at it here. I would like to think that played a pretty key role, but the truth is I didn't realize I had a role to play at first. My error in reasoning hit me without
a lot of warning.
One night, after we'd been engaged about a month, I was in my friend's room asking a question about our homework when I got a text asking me what kind of wedding dresses I liked. It caught me off guard, but I tried to answer, "I like...I like white ones. With....lace?" To me this was a complete and helpful answer. I didn't realize there was more to know about wedding dresses. Later that same week I sat down with Kacie in her dorm room. We were going to watch a movie, but before we did she pulled out a wedding magazine and started flipping through it. She found a page with wedding dresses and told me to point out the ones I liked. I thought I was being ignored and got a little frustrated that she would look at a magazine while I was just sitting there (Yeah, I'm dense sometimes).
She flipped through the magazine and none of them jumped out at me. When we got done she looked at me and said, "You're no hope." I hadn't realized that I should be able to tell the differences. Here are a few tips to help other guys not make the same mistake.
Girls already think about this more than you do
Girls spend a lot of time thinking abuot wedding dresses. Kacie is the only roommate of five that is engaged, but three of them buy wedding magazines on a regular basis and look at the wedding dresses. I've caught glimpses of their Pinterest pages and they're covered in wedding ideas, dresses, flowers, and things I cannot even identify. Most guys know this, but what a lot of guys don't realize is that girls assume you spend the same amount of time thinking about what she'll look like in a wedding dress. The first step to prepare for the question, "When you picture me in a wedding dress, what do you see?" Is to actually spend some time picturing her.
Admit you don't know much, and be willing to ask for help
I did the first thing immediately, but it took me a while to figure out that I could ask about different kidns of wedding dresses. Kacie was using words I couldn't define (Scary words! "Mermaid dress" and slim-to-formfitting"! What? Help! Can I buy a vowel?). But it's not bad to ask about what the options are for what you like. She probably wants to look good for you, so she really wants your input on what you would really like to see.
Don't be ashamed, do some research
Do some research on your own, don't be ashamed. If your guys friends catch you and give you a hard time, they're probably more jealous than anything. If a girl catches you, her heart will helt and she'll tell your fiancee how awesome you are. It's a win win. You can do research by googling or even asking people you know who know more than you.
Remember, girls have a headstart on all of this. They've been planning and thinking since they were five. Now that you've given them a reason to put that planning into practice, you should work on getting caught up.
a lot of warning.
One night, after we'd been engaged about a month, I was in my friend's room asking a question about our homework when I got a text asking me what kind of wedding dresses I liked. It caught me off guard, but I tried to answer, "I like...I like white ones. With....lace?" To me this was a complete and helpful answer. I didn't realize there was more to know about wedding dresses. Later that same week I sat down with Kacie in her dorm room. We were going to watch a movie, but before we did she pulled out a wedding magazine and started flipping through it. She found a page with wedding dresses and told me to point out the ones I liked. I thought I was being ignored and got a little frustrated that she would look at a magazine while I was just sitting there (Yeah, I'm dense sometimes).
She flipped through the magazine and none of them jumped out at me. When we got done she looked at me and said, "You're no hope." I hadn't realized that I should be able to tell the differences. Here are a few tips to help other guys not make the same mistake.
Girls already think about this more than you do
Girls spend a lot of time thinking abuot wedding dresses. Kacie is the only roommate of five that is engaged, but three of them buy wedding magazines on a regular basis and look at the wedding dresses. I've caught glimpses of their Pinterest pages and they're covered in wedding ideas, dresses, flowers, and things I cannot even identify. Most guys know this, but what a lot of guys don't realize is that girls assume you spend the same amount of time thinking about what she'll look like in a wedding dress. The first step to prepare for the question, "When you picture me in a wedding dress, what do you see?" Is to actually spend some time picturing her.
Admit you don't know much, and be willing to ask for help
I did the first thing immediately, but it took me a while to figure out that I could ask about different kidns of wedding dresses. Kacie was using words I couldn't define (Scary words! "Mermaid dress" and slim-to-formfitting"! What? Help! Can I buy a vowel?). But it's not bad to ask about what the options are for what you like. She probably wants to look good for you, so she really wants your input on what you would really like to see.
Don't be ashamed, do some research
Do some research on your own, don't be ashamed. If your guys friends catch you and give you a hard time, they're probably more jealous than anything. If a girl catches you, her heart will helt and she'll tell your fiancee how awesome you are. It's a win win. You can do research by googling or even asking people you know who know more than you.
Remember, girls have a headstart on all of this. They've been planning and thinking since they were five. Now that you've given them a reason to put that planning into practice, you should work on getting caught up.
I love this post. I also love that you have a blog. What I don't love is that I haven't seen it before! I love reading about the two of your lives and how you have changed and continue to change throughout the years!
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